The Bush Supreme Court Has Ruled That Public High Schools Can Discriminate Against Kids In Extracurricular Activities By Forcing Them To Take Drug Tests, But Not The Student Population As A Whole. Justice Souter wrote, "the particular testing program upheld today is not reasonable, it is capricious, even perverse: [It] targets for testing a student population least likely to be at risk for illicit drugs and their damaging effects." What do you think? (AP, June 28, 2002)

"This will mean the end of the the Bake Club's sale of those delicious brownies."

Darleen Edwards, Home Ec Teacher

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"That oughta teach those pansey-ass joiners and jocks ! I'd say more but I'm too stoned, Dude !"

Clark Bender, Fourth-Year Junior

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"My kid's on LSD and wants me to call his teacher and ask if it's going to be on the test."

Terry Jenner, Parent

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"As a suburban parent, I'm sure that the Supreme Court only wants to punish urban children."

Ted Daniels, Boy Scout Troop Leader

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"No Problemo, Dude ! The ruling's only for public schools, so it's voucher time !"

James Jackson, President, Student Council

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"I'm just happy to see that ex-CEO's like Enron's White "

Robert Duncan, CEO

this is a parody of an ONION parody.

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