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"After more than seven years of syntactical precision by Bill Clinton, it is refreshing to have the Bush-isms back, and a candidate who does not obsfucate but say things how they are is." --Ben Macintyre, The Times, 1/24/00

BUSH'S-MOUTH DISEASE SPREADING THROUGH IMMEDIATE FAMILY...

After never having evidenced any symptoms of the virulent sickeness that spreads from brain to mouth, Resident Bush's wife, Laura, showed signs that she has succumed to the illness in a Thursday, March 22 interview in the Washington Post.--Politex

Asked about her feelings about her husband when she met him again as an adult in 1978, she says: "I thought he was very fun. I also thought he was really cute. George is very fun. He's also slightly outrageous once in a while in a very funny and fun way and I found that a lot of fun."

"I also think that people want the first lady to use whatever expertise they have to help America."

"You know what? The fact is, first ladies have always had an intellectual part of the White House, not just the social part."

DUMB BUSH QUIZ

"Neither Dubya nor his Dad is known for having a firm command of English grammar. But when it comes to turning an unusual phrase, each has a style all his own. Which Bush is responsible for each of the following?" --James Ridgeway

1. "We ought to make the pie higher."
2. "There is madmen in the world and there is terror."
3. "[Those are] hyporhetorical questions."
4. "I hope we get to the bottom of the answer."
5. "Please don't look at part of the glass, the part that is only less than half full."

answers:
(1) Dubya; (2) Dubya; (3) Dad; (4) Dubya; (5) Dad

GLOSSARY

nucuelar...pronounced "nyoooo-cue-lair," same as "nuclear" 11/99, N.H. Debate. Made a point about the control of "nucuelar" weapons.

obsfucate...same as "obfuscate" 1/8/00, NYT. He said he would never "obsfucate" as President of the United States.

post-cold world...dropped "war" 1/8/00, NYT. Referred to the present-day status of the world as a "post-cold world." Global warming?

presumptive...same as "presumptuous" ll/15/99, NR. "It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents."

subsidation...same as "subsidization" 1/15/00, DMN. He said education was a "top priority" and he would not accept the "subsidation" of failure.

terrier...conflation of "tariff" and "barrier" 1/8/00 NYT. "If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow!"

THE GIFT OF GARBLE

On Education "The question we need to ask: Is our children learning?"

--On the hustings, Jan. 2000

On "Potential Missile Launches" Bush warned of "a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."

--South Carolina, Jan. 12, 2000

On Foreign Threats in the post Cold War World "I'm also running because I want to keep the peace, keep the peace. When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world and we knew exactly who the they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we're not so sure who the they are. But we know they're there."

--Council Bluffs, Iowa, Jan. 21,2000

On the Company He Keeps "If people could judge me by the company I keep, they would judge me for keeping really good company."

--Iowa, Jan. 2000 (Reported by Ron Hutchinson, FWST, 1/24/00)

On the Federal Budget Surplus "Some say give it [the surplus] to the taxpayers who pay the bills. That some is George W. Bush."

--Sioux City, Iowa, 1/22/00

On Morale in the Military "We also know, and you know if you've got a relative who wear the uniform, or you got a friend who does so or a neighbor, the morale is low in the United States military today."

--Sioux City, Iowa, 1/22/00

On Quotas "What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever."

--On the campaign trail, Jan. 2000

On Racism "In terms of being a president that says there's no place in racism it starts with saying there's no place for racism in America....And that's what leadership needs to do. Leadership needs to stand up and say, and condemn racism and condemn prejudice and hold people accountable as an individual, not as a group."

--During the Michigan GOP Debate, Jan. 10, 2000

On His Speech at a former Slave Plantation "People shouldn't read into venue locations someone's heart."

--Lexington, S.C. Press Conference, Jan. 13, 2000

On His Tax Plan "Bush said if most of the breaks in his plan go to wealthy people it's because 'most of the people who pay taxes are wealthy.'"

--Iowa Press Conference Reported by Bennett Roth, HC, 1/5/00

On Religion in the Oval Office In answer to a question by a Calvin College student, "To what degree would your religious convictions influence the manner in which you conduct affairs in the Oval Office," Bush said, "My-my religious convictions need to be reflected in how I live my life."

--During the Michigan GOP Debate, Jan. 10, 2000

On Neighborliness ""We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbour just like you like to be liked yourself."

--New Hampshire, Jan. 2000

On Teen Sex "I think it's important for those of us in a position of responsibility to be firm in sharing our experiences, to understand that the babies out of wedlock is a very difficult chore for mom and baby alike. ... I believe we ought to say there is a different alternative than the culture that is proposed by people like Miss Wolf in society. ... And, you know, hopefully, condoms will work, but it hasn't worked."

--In an interview with Tim Russert on Meet the Press, Nov. 21, 1999.

On the Internet "...Anyway, my only point is it's a very optimistic time, and one of the main reasons I'm running for president, though, is remember that as the nature of our economy changes, we'd better be careful because people could be left behind."

--N.H. press conference reported by Peggy Fikac, SAEN, 11/99.

On John McCain "If he's saying I'm going to veto every single appropriation bill that comes across my desk, again, I just, he was, I thought it was a kind of ..." The voice trailed off to unintelligible.

--Michigan press conference reported by Cox News, 1/13.

Bush at the Iowa DebateRichard L. Berke Quotes Bush: "Alan Keyes, a former State Department official, asked Mr. Bush about the town of El Cenizo in Texas, which he said had passed rules to conduct all its business in Spanish....Mr. Bush countered that he had consulted with the attorney general of Texas and that all of the town's meetings are now {quote] 'conducted in English under the laws of Texas.' {unquote]"--1/16/00... NYT Transcript of Bush the Same Bush Quote: "I've talked to our attorney general, General Kornan, to make sure that this town was conforming to all the laws, that they have -- that they have -- that -- that they -- that they open their -- their meetings be conducted in the -- in the -- in the laws of Texas. And so I did express concern about it and I do express concern about it."--1/16/00

Note: It appears that some reporters attempt to read messages into the garble.

Also Note: The Spanish sentence Bush initially used to answer Keyes was "No es el verdad." (That's not the truth). "That would, of course, be 'la verdad' in Spanish. Reminding us all of Jim Hightower's line when he was informed that Gov. Bill Clements was studying Spanish: "Oh, good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant."--Molly Ivins, 1/21/00

"TEXAS" ACCENT

A Bush watcher writes "Dubya's accent is not Texan, as those of us who are real Texans know. He's giving us bad press Out There in the rest of the US. Everybody I know who gives a serious speech knows to put the endings on words, make complete sentences and stay on topic. His accent is the Hollywood version of a Texas accent. Where did he get it? Not from his parents, his high school or college friends. He didn't sound that Bubba when he was with the Texas Rangers, it seemed to me. I just saw a MSNBC special about the Bush family with old clips of Dubya, like back in 1988 and other times and he didn't have that Hollywood Texas accent back then. I wish someone would do an ad with clips on how he sounds before running for President and when he runs for president."

On Saddam "I wouldn't ease the sanctions, and I wouldn't try to negotiate with him. I'd make darn sure that he lived up to the agreements that he signed back in the early '90s. I'd be helping the opposition groups. And if I found in any way, shape or form that he was developing weapons of mass destruction, I'd take 'em out. I'm surprised he's still there. I think a lot of other people are as well."

---New Hampshire GOP debate, 12/6/99

Note: Reporters were unsure whether Bush meant take Saddam out or take the weapons out. This specific problem on the very same subject came up days previously.

PLEASE SEND US YOUR FAVORITE EXAMPLES OF DUBYA SPEAK

...to Politex.

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